Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
