at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
