Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You are the jesus of drinking
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
