you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
