i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
