Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
