I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
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my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
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This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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