So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
