I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
