i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
