the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
