ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
