everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
