you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
