I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
