she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
