where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
