If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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