So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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