You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
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It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
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She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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