good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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