im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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