Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
