Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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