Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
