i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
