Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
