So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
