I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
