How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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