Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
