Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
