Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I enjoy the company of your penis
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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