I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
