The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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