She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
