We're facebook friends in real life
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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