I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
