So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize