just come out here and I will go home with you...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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