I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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