I just cut my nipple shaving
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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