I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
