haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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