Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize