I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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