I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
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so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
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im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
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