Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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