I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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