I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
