D3 body, D1 cock
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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