What did we do last night that was yellow?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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