do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
