If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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