So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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