Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
