I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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