i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
