yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Randomize
