Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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