Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
