Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
