I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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