sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize