She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
