I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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