So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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